9 • Reconnecting Across that Rainbow Bridge

We can’t truly reconnect with our Rainbow One until we’ve honored the pain of letting their body go. Our heartbreak is the bridge back to them.

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My Life Without Love (Or So I Thought)

After Mum passed, I spent years unknowingly running from love. On the surface, I was living, but deep down, I was protecting myself from ever loving that fully again… from ever being left again.

For most of my twenties and early thirties, I obsessively fell for unavailable men—men who didn’t love me back, men who weren’t good for me. Deep down, I believed I wouldn’t survive real love. I wouldn’t survive the pain of “losing” someone like that again. It took decades, to uncover the unconscious belief I had been living from: I won’t love again, because I won’t survive being left again.

I’ll never forget the night that realization came. I had just left my boss’s house after working late (yes, the one I also had a crush on — the one who was never going to love me back). The crush wasn’t new; I had been falling in and out of it for years. What was new was my choice to actually feel and take care of myself during the painful outburst that followed.

I pulled over on the side of the road, sobbing, cracked open with pain that felt far too big for the situation. I got out my healing book and gave my feelings a voice. That’s when I realized: This isn’t just about him. This is about my mum.

It was the pain of feeling invisible, unseen, unloved—so profoundly misunderstood. As I let myself feel that, maybe more fully than ever before, visions came of being alone after Mum died, left in the care of people who didn’t understand me. I felt so unloved. As these memories flooded me, I allowed “Little Zoë” to share onto the page whatever she needed to say. Among many things, she wrote: I’m never going to love again. Because I won’t survive losing someone again. I’ll never survive this pain again.

In that instant, it became crystal clear why I kept choosing men who were never going to love me. It was my way of making sure I never had to truly love again, and never be left again. In that moment, I knew my life would never be the same. And within a few months, I started dating my husband.

Me around age Kindergarten age, with my brother Stuart, and Mum

This is the power of grievealing. When we allow our emotions to be fully expressed, the pain of the past and the hidden conditions in our unconscious rise into our awareness. We begin to see the misbeliefs we’ve been holding onto in an attempt to keep ourselves safe. And often, simply receiving those hidden experiences with love and compassion is enough to begin unraveling them.

When I first gave my grief a voice, I was shocked by what came through my pen. I found myself writing things I would have sworn I didn’t believe, didn’t feel, and would never need to say. Yet when those words spilled out, I realized they had been quietly shaping my life all along. And in the very act of putting them on the page, a great weight began to lift from my heart.

Healing Through Reconnection

While that night was the breakthrough, what followed was years of learning to reconnect with my mum. And it didn’t happen all at once, it unfolded slowly, tenderly, as I kept showing up to feel and to speak the words I had held back for decades. I began writing to her in my healing book. I started talking about her again, for the first time since I was little. I began talking to her throughout the day, asking her questions, telling her how much I missed her, letting her be part of my life again. And eventually, I began to feel her love, her warmth, and her presence returning.

Here’s the part that most of us find hard to accept: the opportunities to reconnect with our loved ones usually don’t arrive in perfect, peaceful moments of meditation. More often, they show up in the messy, painful emotions of daily life. When we’re upset about things that seem completely unrelated, frustrated at work, ashamed after a fight, or lonely in the middle of a crowded room. If we let ourselves truly feel those emotions, we often uncover a deeper, unresolved grief.

For the first year after that night, I carried my healing book everywhere. Whenever I found myself in emotional pain, I would use the Feeling for Healing method. And almost every time, it led me back to Mum. Now, almost two decades later, I can ask Mum for a hug whenever I need it. I smile easily and authentically when I think of her. When I see flowers, I remember everything she taught me in the garden. When I bake, I remember the mixing bowls and wooden spoons she let me lick. She is woven into my life now. And the warmth and joy of having her back in my life can hardly be contained in words.

For so long, I had done a kind of mental jiu-jitsu to block myself from being reminded of her. I thought that by protecting myself from the memories, I was protecting myself from the pain. But in truth, I was only protecting myself from love. As I let myself cry, say what I needed to say, and, as we’ll explore in this chapter, use the gift of divine imagination to reconnect, the barriers I had built around my heart dissolved.

That reconnection with my mum became one of the most important healings of my life. And it’s also the doorway I want to open for you, as you grieveal your Rainbow One.

Reconnection Is Inevitable

The biggest thing that holds us back from reconnection is our fear of surrendering fully to the devastation. It feels like if we let ourselves drop into that pain, we’ll never come back out. But the truth is: once we give our grief a voice and truly honor what it carries, our experience will evolve. Grief has a natural current, and if we allow it, it leads us toward love.

It’s been a year since Ellie passed. And while I still have moments of missing her fur body terribly, I can honestly say that ninety-five percent of my experience with her now is joyful. I can close my eyes whenever I like, and her sass, boldness, and huge loving heart flood me in the most beautiful ways. Even as I type these words, I’m smiling ear to ear.

This is the invitation:

trust that the love you shared with your beloved animal is still here, waiting for you in a new way.

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The Truth About Reconnection

You don’t need to be psychic. You don’t need to believe in angels or the afterlife. You just need to believe in your Rainbow One and in your shared love.

Think of someone you love deeply—someone who isn’t physically with you right now. Maybe they’re in another city, another house, or even just another room. Even though you can’t see or hear them, if you close your eyes, you can probably feel what they’d say if you were hurting. You can imagine how they’d hold you. You can feel their comfort. Their love. Their energy. Just because your loved one isn’t in the same city as you right now, doesn’t mean your relationship stops, or your love doesn’t exist. In precisely the same way, just because your Rainbow One isn’t in the same place as you right now, doesn’t mean your relationship stops or that your shared love doesn’t exist anymore.

Reconnection doesn’t always happen right away. Your nervous system might need time. Your heart might need space. And that’s okay. If you can’t feel them yet, trust that the door is still there. And when you’re ready, they’ll meet you at it. It took me twenty years to walk through that door to reconnect with Mum, and three days to reconnect with Ellie.

If you aren’t finding yourself able to connect easily with your Rainbow One it is most likely that your pain still needs to be expressed. Your human is still in the process of letting their physical body go. So be kind, compassionate and patient with yourself. As you authentically show up for your grief you will have greater access to the softening and openness required to connect with your Rainbow One.

The Rainbow Sanctuary

Over time, I developed a sacred inner space I now call my Rainbow Sanctuary. It’s a place I go in my imagination where I can reconnect with my loved ones who have passed, especially Ellie and my mum. This practice was first inspired by a profound experience I had in an Insight Seminar, where we were guided to create an Inner Sanctuary. It’s not about pretending, escaping, or holding on to false hope, and while it may sound like a warm-and-fuzzy fantasy, science actually backs it up.

Olympic athletes use visualization to win gold. Weightlifters can build strength simply by imagining lifting weights. Neuroscience shows that when we imagine with focus and feeling, our brains respond as if the experience is real. Mental imagery activates the same neural pathways as physical experience (see online Reference: The Power of Mental Imagery on Health and Healing).

The same principle applies to healing. There are more than one hundred thousand documented cases of people using imagery to support recovery from chronic illness, and many believe the real number is in the millions. These are people who’ve used creative visualization, guided imagery, and mind-body practices to combine emotion, imagination, and intention in ways that create real, measurable transformation in their bodies and lives.

Beyond the science, having my own perfectly personalized healing sanctuary, where I can meet Ellie, or simply rest in love, has been life-changing. So no, this isn’t just about creating a comforting scene. It’s about creating a sacred space for healing—a sanctuary for your nervous system. A soft, safe, limitless space where your body can rest, release, and renew. Your Rainbow Sanctuary becomes a living bridge between worlds—a space within you that reminds you love never dies. Here, you can visit your Rainbow One, find peace, and remember that connection is eternal.

My Rainbow Sanctuary

I’ve been visiting my Rainbow Sanctuary for over a decade now. It’s the sacred space I return to again and again whenever I close my eyes and want to connect with Mum, or more recently, with my beloved Rainbow Daughter, Ellie. This space lives in my imagination… but to me, it’s as real as anything in this world.

My sanctuary is a vibrant, magical jungle near the sea. It’s loosely inspired by the Swiss Family Robinson treehouses, full of wonder, wood, and wildness. Picture a jungle clearing with a crystal-clear pond in the middle, so pure you can see all the way to the sparkling stones at the bottom. All around the pond are tall, majestic trees, each one holding a beautiful treehouse. They’re interconnected by hanging rope bridges, kind of like the Ewok village in Star Wars. The entire place feels alive. The flowers are brighter than anything I’ve ever seen on Earth, like they’re humming with color. Each treehouse has a purpose. One of them is a cozy, rustic cottage where I meet with Mum. It’s filled with light, like a peaceful farmhouse tucked up high in the trees. And of course there’s a wide-open meadow that blooms forever in every direction, that’s where Ellie and I run and play. And she has her own special treehouse too, where we snuggle in a giant, cushion-filled room that feels like sunshine and safety.

Your Rainbow Sanctuary Is Waiting

If you don’t already have a Rainbow Sanctuary of your own, I hope this inspires you to begin creating one. It doesn’t need to look anything like mine. Maybe yours is by a lake, or in the clouds. Maybe it’s a house on the beach, or the most luxurious rooftop penthouse apartment. Maybe it’s a spaceship, a cozy cabin, or a room filled with stars.

There are no rules. Just let it feel safe. Let it feel healing and restorative. Let it feel like a place where you and your Rainbow One can be together—beyond time, beyond space, beyond the limits of this world. Let it be a place where healing isn’t only possible… it’s inevitable. And I promise, the more time you spend there, the more real it will become.

Giving Your Grief Words Opens the Door to Reconnection

One of the most healing things you can do for your grief is to let it speak. To give it words. To let your heart pour out what it’s been holding, uncensored and unpolished. When you allow your feelings a voice, you’re not only releasing pain, you’re also making space for love to reveal itself.

Beneath every wave of sorrow, anger, guilt, or longing, there is love. The only reason we grieve so deeply is because we have loved so deeply. And when we allow those emotions to flow freely, without judgment or censorship, the love underneath them rises to the surface.

This is the gift of unedited expression. You don’t need the right words, good grammar, or even a clear beginning or end. You just need permission. Set a timer if it helps, keep your pen moving, and let whatever is there come forward. Anger, shame, confusion, tenderness, let it all out.

It’s time to take that same freedom and offer it directly to your Rainbow One. In the Guided Experience that follows, you’ll have the opportunity to write them a letter, to say what’s been unsaid, to release what’s been carried, and open to reconnection.

Remembering Our Divinity

When we allow ourselves to grieveal fully, we open to something far greater than “loss”. We begin to touch the truth of who we are, the Love that lives beneath it all. In this way, grievealing becomes a sacred invitation to remember our divinity. It reconnects us to the vastness of life, to the unbreakable bond that exists between all beings.

No matter your beliefs, whether you see yourself as religious, spiritual, uncertain, or simply human, grief blurs the edges of separation. It opens your eyes to the infinite oneness that threads through every heartbeat, every breath, every life.

When we allow our Rainbow One to keep awakening us, we begin to see that their life, and their passing, carry meaning far beyond what the mind can make sense of. Their love becomes a bridge between the visible and invisible, the human and divine, the temporary and eternal.

In remembering them, we’re also remembering ourselves, the part of us that is limitless, compassionate, and forever connected. Because to grieveal deeply is to love ourselves completely. And to love completely is to remember, we and our Rainbow One were never separate at all.

Guided Experience 9A • The Letter

Write a heartfelt letter to your Rainbow One. Say everything you need to say. As your emotions flow onto the page, they begin to release from your body, creating a sacred space of reconnection. Especially supportive in Phase 2 and 3.

Estimated Time Required: 5 – 15 minutes or more

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You Will Need: Your Healing Book, a writing instrument, and a safe, sacred space

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1. Begin Your Letter

You can start with Dear (Name), or any words that feel right. Say everything—the love, the pain, the gratitude, the confusion, the longing, the anger. Nothing is off limits. This is your space to be real. Let your inner child speak too, if they would like to.

2. Take Your Time

Give yourself full permission to cry, laugh, sob, breathe, or pause. Sometimes it takes some time, some slowing down, some small talk before your heart is ready to say the big stuff you came to say. So go slow. There’s no rush.

3. Complete Your Letter with Loving Gratitude

When you feel ready, take a few moments to finish your letter with love and appreciation. Remember it’s not about the words, it’s about love, so don’t hold back.

If you feel called, this is a beautiful moment to move into the Rainbow Sanctuary experience that follows.

4. Say Goodbye, For Now

Just as you would lovingly hug a friend and say, See you soon, it’s important to lovingly complete this connection, for now. This helps your heart and nervous system integrate the experience and gently return to daily life. You might place your hand on your heart and whisper: Thank you for being with me. I’ll visit you again soon. Let this goodbye be soft and sacred, a quiet reminder that love continues, and you can return whenever you want.