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Our Judgments Create Our Suffering

All disturbance, challenge or suffering in life is created by our judgments.

There is nothing outside of us that can disturb us, challenge us, or make us suffer.

It’s purely the way that we relate to what’s happening, that creates our challenge.

Judgments differ from observation, evaluation or a neutral experience of a situation because a judgment has both a mental bias and also a negative emotional charge. An observation or evaluation is neutral–there is no negative emotional charge and it is NOT biased.

The easiest way to understand if you have a judgment is to be aware of any negative emotional reaction you have to it. Let’s use some examples just to get this really clear.

Situation: A lady is yelling at her children on the train.

I have a judgment running with me if I am attributing some kind of prejudice or assumption against this woman [what a terrible mother she is] and I’m also experiencing that negatively emotionally [perhaps anger or disgust]. I am neutrally observing if I am simply aware that the lady is yelling, without that meaning anything against her, and I don’t feel negatively emotionally about it.

Bottom Line: I either feel something negative: angry, disturbed, etc inside or not. If I do – I have an opportunity to clear my judgment.

Situation: I didn’t get the promotion I was hoping for.

I have a judgment running with me if I attribute that this must mean something negative about myself that also brings up negative emotion. I am neutrally observing if I don’t take this to mean anything negative about me, and doesn’t trigger any form of negative emotion.

Bottom Line: I either feel something negative: sad, hopeless, etc inside or not. If I do – I have an opportunity to clear my judgment.

It’s pretty easy to see that we all have a lot of judgments! What’s challenging in doing this work is that our judgments often seem justified. And so we don’t allow our greater healing, because we get caught up in blaming, changing, fixing or solving the judgments. This, however, holds us back from our healing, transformation and success.

When we have a negative emotional reaction that’s up for us – I am suggesting that it’s best to deal with this inner disturbance first – and then you can then address the outside world. After clearing the inner judgment that disturbed you, you’ll be Much Better Equipped to address the world around you.

So what are judgments? And how do they work?

Judgments are conditions or rules that we place against lovability.

They can be considered the invisible rules we have assigned to ourselves in order to be loved or lovable.

Judgments generally show up as a condition for:

For example:

If we could be completely free of all judgments in life (which is impossible while we’re still in a human body FYI) – but IF we could we would completely experience that absolutely everyone and everything in every situation is completely worthy of Love.

Zoe, how can you tell me it’s a good thing to let go of the judgment or the rule inside of me that ‘We should all be kind!!!’ ‘That I should always be kind!!!’

As we let go of the rule to be kind… we unleash more of our own natural don’t-need-a-rule-to-be-kind, type of kindness! In other words, in releasing rules that ‘I HAVE to be kind’ I can experience my genuine kindness more fully and naturally.