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Inner child healing is a research-supported path to emotional and physiological well-being. By meeting the younger parts of ourselves with compassion, we rewire neural pathways, soothe the nervous system, and reshape beliefs formed in childhood. Grieving a pet often reactivates these tender places, making it a powerful gateway to inner child healing.
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Developmental neuroscientist Allan Schore demonstrates how early relational trauma imprints on the right brain and nervous system. Repair requires compassionate relational experiences—including inner re-parenting practices that mimic the care once missing.
Schore, Allan N. Right Brain Psychotherapy. New York: W. W. Norton & Company, 2019.
Schema therapy and imagery rescripting—two widely studied inner child methods—have been shown to significantly reduce symptoms of depression, anxiety, and PTSD by rewriting painful childhood memories with compassion and new meaning.
Arntz, Arnoud, & Sofi, Dalia. (2016). Imagery rescripting for personality disorders. Cognitive and Behavioral Practice, 23(3), 364–376. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.cbpra.2015.05.002
Self-compassion interventions that often include inner child work lead to reduced shame, lower self-criticism, and improved emotional resilience. These are the same qualities grief asks of us—especially when we lose the unconditional love of an animal.
Neff, Kristin D., & Germer, Christopher K. (2013). A pilot study and randomized controlled trial of the mindful self-compassion program. Journal of Clinical Psychology, 69(1), 28–44. https://doi.org/10.1002/jclp.21923
Inner child work also helps the body. Because trauma and unmet childhood needs are stored somatically, reconnecting with the inner child can reduce stress hormones, improve vagal tone, and support immune function.
Bessel van der Kolk’s landmark work shows that the body “keeps the score” of childhood trauma—and healing requires experiential methods that integrate emotion, body, and memory.
van der Kolk, Bessel A. The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma. New York: Viking, 2014.
Spiritual and existential benefits are profound. Inner child healing restores our sense of innocence, playfulness, and unconditional worth. In the context of pet grief, it mirrors the pure love our animals embodied—and helps us internalize that same love for ourselves.
Classic and contemporary works highlight how reclaiming the inner child leads to deeper self-acceptance and meaning in life:
Bradshaw, John. Homecoming: Reclaiming and Championing Your Inner Child. New York: Bantam, 1990.
Maté, Gabor. The Myth of Normal: Trauma, Illness, and Healing in a Toxic Culture. New York: Avery, 2022.
Wolynn, Mark. It Didn’t Start with You: How Inherited Family Trauma Shapes Who We Are and How to End the Cycle. New York: Penguin Books, 2016.
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Together, this growing body of work affirms: inner child healing is not just therapeutic—it is transformative. When grief cracks us open, especially the grief of losing a beloved pet, it creates a sacred opportunity to meet our younger selves with the same unconditional love our animals gave us.
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