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Across multiple disciplines, research and lived experience show that suppressing or ignoring emotions compromises our ability to connect authentically with ourselves and others. Vulnerability is the foundation of intimacy—and when we block our feelings, we block our ability to relate, trust, and heal.
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In Daring to Love, psychologists Firestone and Firestone emphasize that fear of vulnerability often stems from early emotional pain. To protect ourselves, we learn to suppress our feelings—but in doing so, we also suppress connection.
Firestone, T., and Robert W. Firestone. Daring to Love: Move Beyond Fear of Intimacy, Embrace Vulnerability, and Create Lasting Connection. Oakland, CA: New Harbinger Publications, 2018.
Brené Brown, in her seminal work The Power of Vulnerability, explores how courageously feeling and expressing emotion is key to wholehearted living. She reminds us that "we can’t selectively numb emotions—when we numb the dark, we numb the light."
Brown, Brené. The Power of Vulnerability: Teachings of Authenticity, Connection, and Courage. Louisville, CO: Sounds True, 2012.
Dr. Gabor Maté, in both When the Body Says No and The Myth of Normal, presents compelling evidence that emotional repression is linked to chronic stress, illness, and disconnection. His work highlights how early emotional wounding shapes our adult physiology and how healing depends on reclaiming and expressing our full emotional truth.
Maté, Gabor. When the Body Says No: The Cost of Hidden Stress. London: Vermilion, 2019.
Maté, Gabor, and Daniel Maté. The Myth of Normal: Trauma, Illness, and Healing in a Toxic Culture. New York: Avery, 2022.
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These insights underline a vital truth: grieving fully, rather than suppressing, is not only emotionally liberating but also essential to physical and relational well-being.
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BACK TO 1 • The Paradox and Purpose of Pet Grief
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RETURN TO The Blue Healer Resource Library
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