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Neuroscience is now confirming what we feel in our hearts: unprocessed grief can disrupt our cognitive and emotional regulation and leave us stuck in survival mode. But the brain also has the miraculous ability to heal—if we let it. These references explore how the grieving brain functions and how practices like compassion, journaling, and other somatic techniques can restore calm and balance.
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A neurologist’s personal and clinical reflections on how grief impacts brain function, behavior, and emotional health—and how the brain can adapt and heal.
Shulman, Lisa M. Before and After Loss: A Neurologist’s Perspective on Loss, Grief, and Our Brain. Baltimore: Johns Hopkins University Press, 2018.
This book explores the neuroscience of grief, showing how attachment and loss reshape neural pathways, and how the grieving brain learns to integrate love and absence.
O’Connor, Mary-Frances. The Grieving Brain: The Surprising Science of How We Learn from Love and Loss. New York: HarperOne, 2023.
Presents a neurologist’s view on how grief affects memory, cognition, and emotional processing, and offers strategies to support neurological healing after loss.
American Brain Foundation. (2023, October 11). Healing your brain after loss: A neurologist’s perspective [Video]. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hZwhslOz7qY
Explains how grief activates the brain’s threat response systems and how mindful practices can promote neurological recovery and emotional regulation.
American Brain Foundation. Healing Your Brain After Loss: A Neurologist’s Perspective. YouTube video, 2023. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hZwhslOz7qY
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Applying current research to pet grief.
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It is important to note that while there are not yet fMRI studies mapping pet loss specifically, existing attachment and bereavement research shows that pet loss activates the same attachment and stress systems as human loss. This makes the above neuroscience findings relevant to the pet grief experience. Multiple studies, including those below, demonstrate that grief intensity after pet loss is comparable to losing a close human attachment, particularly when the bond was primary, caregiving-based, or emotionally regulating.
Archer, John. “Why Do People Love Their Pets?” Evolution and Human Behavior 18, no. 4 (1997): 237–259. https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0162309599800014
Archer, John, and Linda Winchester. “Bereavement Following Death of a Pet.” British Journal of Psychology 85, no. 2 (1994): 259–271. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.2044-8295.1994.tb02522.x
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While direct fMRI studies on pet loss are limited, attachment research shows that losing a deeply bonded animal activates the same attachment and stress systems as human loss. Grief doesn’t just touch the heart—it reshapes the brain. With conscious support, emotional expression, and compassion-based practices, the brain can rewire toward healing, resilience, and post-traumatic growth.
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BACK TO 3 • Allowing Ourselves to Be Shaken: A Somatic & Spiritual Approach
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