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F - Feel your feelings – Acknowledge what you're experiencing. Name it.
E - Embrace your feelings – Instead of resisting, welcome whatever emotions arise.
E - Express your feelings – Give them a voice. Write, cry, move—whatever helps you release.
L - Love your feelings completely – Bring kindness and compassion to the part of you that is hurting.
This can be helpful in remembering the steps. It certainly helps me remember particularly when I am ‘in it’.
When we’re in deep emotional pain, we often forget what helps. We freeze, or we spiral. This method is like a lifeline—helping us find our way back to healing instead of getting stuck in suffering.
Self-healing and compassionate grieving are always valuable practices, no matter when you do them. But in my experience, the greatest return on your time—the biggest breakthroughs—come when everything is falling apart. When your emotions feel overwhelming and irrational. When you're deeply off balance. When you're genuinely not okay.
These are the moments when this work isn’t just helpful—it’s essential. Because when you're in the thick of it, when the pain is raw and the fear is loud, that’s when you have the most to gain. It’s also when you're most likely to fall into old patterns, trying to numb or escape instead of feeling and healing.
And this is also when your unconscious, repressed energy is most accessible.
Think of it like trying to clean the muck off the bottom of a bucket. On a good day, when everything feels relatively calm, that murky stuff stays settled. It’s harder to reach the deeper, hidden layers of pain and emotion because they aren’t already stirred up.
But when you’re in the middle of a shit storm—when you’re feeling the depths of your pain and everything is swirling—that’s when the buried stuff rises to the surface. It’s no longer hidden. You can see it, feel it, and, most importantly, clear it.
This is why these moments of chaos, as painful as they are, hold so much potential for healing. When the storm is raging, all the suppressed emotions, fears, and old wounds that usually stay buried are right there, in full view. And that is the perfect time to work with them—because they’re already moving, already loosened, and ready to be released.
This is where self-healing shines brightest. Not when things are calm and easy, but when the storm is raging, and you choose, even in the smallest way, to meet yourself with love.
And as we’ve already unpacked each of these four steps in such detail in the preceding reading, we’re going to dive straight in.
Use my words below as guide posts, and go more for the heart of the exercise, rather than following the details.
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Set a Clear Healing Intention
Somatic Breathing to Ground in the Body Close your eyes and take a deep breath in through your nose, filling your lungs completely. Hold for a moment, then exhale slowly through your mouth. Repeat this a few times. With each exhale, release any tension, and with each inhale, invite in softness. Allow your body to settle into the present moment. Turn your awareness inward.
[Step 1] Feel Your Feelings How are you feeling? In order to access unresolved emotion you can let yourself be aware of what’s most challenging to you right now. Is it missing your Rainbow One? Or something else that’s most challenging to you in THIS moment? Close your eyes and loosely allow yourself to be connected to what’s most challenging to you right now, while observing what goes on in your physical body. Allow yourself to FEEL your feelings, deeply, completely, right now.
[Step 2] Embrace Your Feelings The next step is to fully accept, embrace and really welcome your feelings to be with you. Sometimes what we’re feeling, can be our resistance to just feeling our emotions. So it’s important just now to let go of that resistance and truly accept and embrace our feelings as fully as we can. Say out loud or in writing to your feelings:
“I have so much time, space and love for you right now. I see you, I hear you, I welcome you.”
If resistance arises—and it often does—acknowledge it, too. Resistance is just a protective mechanism. It deserves to be seen and accepted as well:
I see you. I appreciate you for trying to keep me safe. But I no longer need you to block this feeling. I am strong enough to feel it now.
I have NOT always been safe to feel my emotions fully, but in this moment, I AM completely safe.
[Step 3] Express Your Feelings
Think of your emotions as little beings, each with something important to say. They don’t need to be controlled or fixed—just acknowledged. First create a Feeling Form for what you’re feeling. Let’s say in Step 1, you felt sadness in your heart. It was dark blue, swirling like a dense fog. In this step, you might write down Sad Blue Foggy Heart as the feeling form you’re aware of. Now give a voice to your feeling form. Let is speak freely. Let it be dramatic. Let it say and express whatever it wants without being censored or judged in anyway.
At first, this might feel strange, but remember—this isn’t about making sense. It’s about releasing what’s been bottled up inside. Continue to express until you naturally find a greater stillness or silence within. You will find that eventually this feeling within has expressed all it needs to express.
[Step 4] Love Your Feelings Completely
In this final step, your job is to offer your Feeling Forms the deepest love and care possible—unconditionally and with compassion. Think about how you would comfort a small child who is upset, and offer that same tenderness to your emotions. And remember no fixing, blaming or changing situations and circumstances.
Start by offering your feeling form gentle, loving words. You can say or write this down:
I hear you. I see you. And I love you.
Continue sharing (saying or writing down) any loving, compassionate words that your huge heart wants to express to this pain within.
Next ask your feeling form (by saying or writing down):
What do you need?
Again allow yourself to drop into your feeling form and let the energy within answer. It might feel like you’re making up an answer–that’s how this works initially. Just do your best to write down an answer from the feeling form within.
To complete, use your Rainbow One and any other nurturing experience in your imagination to give your feeling form the experience they need.
And IF your feeling form has asked for something that is destructive in nature, ask them:
If that happened, how would you feel?
Now simply do your best, using your imagination and your Rainbow One, to give your feeling form a deep embodied experience of feeling this way.
Thank and Reward Yourself Thank yourself for having the courage to dive in so deeply. Genuinely say ‘thank you’ to yourself for completing this experience, and ask yourself what reward would feel self-honoring and empowering?! And now go treat yourself with what feels supportive and celebratory.
Amazing ❤️🔥 That’s Week 6 Complete 🏆 🎉 😁 🙌
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WATCH Week 6 Recording Unpacking the power of the 4-Step Feeling for Healing™
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