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Allowing the Shock

The analogy of being in shock when someone passes, is helpful, and is energetically accurate in some ways. This applies to you if you knew your loved one was sick for a long time, and you mentally knew this day was coming. And it applies to you if your loved one died suddenly or tragically. It applies to us all. Our mind can know they are going to be dying at some point soon, but our body can not prepare for the feeling and experience of their body being taken from ours.

There is a period of shock that takes place. An on purpose period of time where it’s just too hard for us to be completely present in acceptance that they are gone. For some people it’s a few moments. And for others a few weeks or more.

Your timing is your timing. And the guide below will help you get a little relief for your nervous system as you recover from the shock.

Let Go of All Assumptions

No matter what you think you know about love, grief, life, or death… give yourself the profound gift of setting it all aside for a time.

Whether you are grieving a loved one who passed yesterday, twenty years ago, or even facing the reality of their transition tomorrow—allow yourself to release all expectations, all logic, and all the ways you think you should grieve.

In the aftermath of loss, grant yourself a sacred pause—a period of time free from demands, responsibilities, and pressure to "get it right."

• Think about your loved one as much as you want, or don’t.
• Cry your tears, or let them rest.
• Distract yourself with guilty pleasures, or do nothing at all.

Before we begin this journey together, take one full day to reset your nervous system—by giving yourself complete permission to just be. No rules. No expectations. No responsibilities.

Whatever you need in this moment is okay.

A Day to Reset Your Nervous System

You might not have the luxury of being able to cancel or reschedule all of your engagements, commitments and responsibilities on the day your loved one passes.

So the day you are completing this first guide might not be the day your Loved One passes, or even close to that day.

It doesn’t matter when you choose to dive into this experience, but it does need to be a full day, and it does need to be a day where you are logistically able to do whatever you want all day.

Give yourself the profound gift of resetting your nervous system after the shock.

One Day to Hit Reset

Give yourself the gift of one day, using the guidelines below, to live as little from your mind as you possibly can.

<aside> 💛

Estimated Time Required:

• 24 hours. An entire day.

You Will Need:

• Nothing in particular.
• Just support yourself with whatever comes present for you to engage in today. </aside>

1. Clear your calendar. Open your calendar and make sure there isn’t anything you need to do today. Reschedule or cancel whatever you want to.
2. Turn off your phone. Or at least put it on silent. You can of course use your phone anytime today you want to. But you need to put your phone on the mode that works for you so that you don’t HAVE to respond to anyone if you don’t WANT to.
3. Turn on Do Not Disturb. If you feel that you need to respond to people on email today, turn on your Out of Office response so everyone will know you will respond tomorrow, NOT today. Activate whatever alerts on your phone and other communication devices so that people know you will not be responding to them today.
4. What do you want to eat today? Let yourself eat anything. Let yourself eat nothing.
5. Where do you want to go today? Let yourself go wherever you want. Let yourself go nowhere.
6. Can you give yourself complete permission to do whatever you want to do, moment by moment, today? Give yourself that gift, as completely as you can.
7. And let yourself change, and flow, and morph today. Let yourself want one thing, and then change your mind. Let yourself change, and flow, and live, however you do.

Guided Practice for Healing & Nervous System Reset

Your body has a natural ability to heal—it wants to return to balance and full health.

Every part of you—your body, emotions, and nervous system—holds an innate intelligence, a Self-Healing Intelligence.

But most of the time, we don’t live from this intelligence. Instead, we stay in our minds, disconnected from what our body is trying to tell us.

This practice helps calm the nervous system by activating the parasympathetic (rest & digest) response. It allows you to release tension, feel grounded, and re-establish a sense of safety in your body.

Beyond resetting your nervous system and clearing negative energy, this process prepares you for the deeper experiences ahead. As we explore healing and grief, you'll begin to notice how much of our emotional struggle comes from resisting feelings rather than simply allowing them.

This practice will help you develop the skill of truly connecting with your emotions—so you can release, rather than resist, the energy within you.

You may also want to inspire yourself with this poem, before you dive into this process. A Poem for Welcoming Our Grief

<aside> 💛

Estimated Time Required:

• 30 minutes.

You Will Need:

• A couple of pillows.
• A place to lie down, fully stretched out (the floor or your bed work best).

Helpful Hint:

• You will be able to use the Week 3 Recording to guide you through this process. </aside>

1. Lie Down & Get Comfortable

Find a place where you can fully stretch out—on a bed or the floor.

• Place a pillow under your head for support.
• If needed, put a pillow under your knees to relieve lower back strain.
• Gently close your eyes.

2. Set an Intention

Silently affirm your intention. Something like:

"I intend to relax and reset my nervous system for my highest good, health, and healing."

3. Create a Sense of Safety

Reassure your body:

"You are safe. While you have not always been safe to feel fully, you are safe now. I see you. I hear you. I love you."

4. Become Present in Your Surroundings

With eyes closed, tune into the world around you.

• Notice three solid objects in the space: perhaps the bed beneath you, a dresser, or a lamp.
• Acknowledge your ability to focus on the external world.

5. Become Present in Your Body

Shift your awareness inward.

• Focus on three areas of your body—perhaps your head, left foot, and stomach.
• Embody each area completely before moving on.

6. Connect with Your Breath

Observe the natural flow of your breath without trying to change it.

• Feel your stomach rise with each inhale and fall with each exhale, like gentle waves in the ocean.

7. Regulate Your Nervous System with Breathwork

Place one hand over your solar plexus (above your belly button) and the other over your heart (center of your chest).

• Inhale deeply through your nose for four counts, letting your belly rise first, then your chest.
• Hold for four counts.
• Exhale slowly through your mouth for four or more counts, letting your chest drop first, then your belly.
• Repeat 3–10 times.

8. Release Tension with Progressive Muscle Relaxation (PMR)

Systematically contract and relax different muscle groups. Start from the top of your head, working down. You can move through your whole body by consecutively focusing on the muscles and energy around each energy center (chakra) in your body.

• Third Eye (forehead/head): Scrunch your face, hold for seven counts, then release.
• Throat (neck/shoulders): Shrug your shoulders up, hold for seven, then release.
• Heart (chest/arms/hands): Tighten, hold for seven, then release.
• Solar Plexus (stomach): Engage your core, hold for seven, then release.
• Sacral (lower abdomen): Engage pelvic muscles, hold for seven, then release.
• Root (hips, legs, feet): Squeeze, hold for seven, then release.

Great Job! That’s Week 3 Reading Complete 🏆 🎉 😁 🙌

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